Everything is somatic

The evolution of a new buzzword.

Happy Friday. Down with Eric Adams. Up with the autumnal vibe in the air.

This week, Dazed published an article, Does ‘stored trauma’ really cause weight gain?, which breaks down a disturbing new trend in the diet culture matrix of evil: Trauma treatment repackaged as a weight loss trick. It forced me back on TikTok after MONTHS away (ugh) and also sent me down a social media rabbit hole which gifted me with some truly incredible Content:

it’s always a coach/healer, isn’t it?

One word that came up repeatedly is “somatic.” A quick TikTok search of the word brought up hundreds of videos, some of them by TikTok therapists, many of them by so-called “practitioners,” “healers,” and “coaches.” Wellness grifters are nothing new. But it struck me that “somatic” is the key word to indicate that whatever kind of bullshit you’re reading is not *diet culture content,* it’s *trauma healing content.* 

Something convenient about the somatics of it all is that, when applied broadly and liberally, the word can kind of mean anything. Somatic literally means “of the body,” and somatics refers to any sort of movement that can impact mental health.

Somatic therapy is a real thing – it comes from the theory of somatic psychology, developed in the 1800s and iterated on by many researchers and practitioners ever since (and, yes, recently popularized by The Body Keeps The Score). It’s a form of therapy based on the theory that emotions are felt in the body, and so the road to healing is through the body. It also operates on the theory that traumatic memories are experienced through the body, and so cognitive-based therapies alone are insufficient as treatment. An few examples of some popular types of modern somatic therapy:

• Somatic Experiencing, developed in the 1970s by Peter Levine and based around his observation of animals being in a “freeze” state when their safety is threatened

• Hakomi Method, developed in the 1970s by Ron Kurtz, which centers around mindfulness and internal awareness

• Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, developed in the 1980s by Pat Ogden and incorporating elements of neuroscience and states of the nervous system 

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), developed in the 1980s, using bilateral stimulation to process specific traumatic memories

These interventions are costly (time and money), they’re intense, and they’re immersive. There are varying levels of research to back them up. There’s more than just the brand-name interventions, too — many clinicians who primarily offer talk therapy also incorporate some kind of somatic work in order to make their work more holistic. 

There’s certainly a case for making this work more accessible and for breaking it down into specific tools or practices. But there are no silver bullets or hacks. The way these influencers repackage this work feels almost like an exorcism: Release this demon, and you will be well. (And skinny.)

It feels like this all comes from a fundamental misunderstanding of trauma, its treatment, and an oversimplification and repackaging of the seeds of somatic therapy into what basically amounts to a “get ready with me” video. Slapping “somatic” in front of whatever word comes next does not a trauma treatment make. It’s convenient, though, as a bridge into wellness culture, where the “right” way to understand and relate to our bodies is subject to what’s trending.

But let’s say that these 10 exercises do “release your trauma.” What then? You’re alone in your apartment with TikTok open reliving whatever it is that your mind and body have worked hard to suppress in order to allow you to go about your day to day life? There’s a reason that trauma therapists move slowly and treatment takes time. It’s emotionally dangerous!

Depending on what you’re working on in therapy, what you’re up to outside therapy, and a million other possible factors I wouldn’t dare try to distill down into a sentence, your body might change when you start going to therapy, in any of the ways that bodies change. But conflating “back fat” and “unprocessed emotions” is clearly treading into some dangerous territory.

If your primary goal for emotional healing is to finally get the body that social media says you should have…well, you have bigger fish to fry, therapeutically. It’s obviously irresponsible for anyone with a following to encourage this. And – does it even need to be said? – making a fatphobic diet culture post about “trauma” does not absolve it of being fatphobic diet culture content.

And if someone convinces you that you have trauma in order to sell you something, run. Somatically. 

#backfatbegone #storedtrauma

Miranda x Esther

I was one of the many who absolutely devoured Miranda July’s novel All Fours over the summer. I was so moved by its portrayal of the messy/devastating/inspiring/confusing experience of aging as a woman, figuring out how to honor your contradictions, the different ways to show care in community, the fluid nature of desire, and more. 

It’s such a welcome antidote, too, to some of the discourse around The Substance (haven’t seen, cannot handle, but I did have to recruit a braver friend to tell me everything that happens in it in order to satiate my curiosity) related to beauty standards as an aging woman and the ways we are forced to harm ourselves in order to keep up. It’s not not true, but it is upsetting. And it’s not the only frame. Miranda July seeks a different path – one that is both totally her own but is also situated within her family history and the network of queer people who support and guide her. 

The Cut published an interview between July and famed couples’ therapist Esther Perel this week taken from Perel’s podcast Where Should We Begin?. Here’s my favorite part of the exchange, after July shares a recent unsettling experience with her girlfriend when she felt a sudden disruption in romantic feelings:

Esther Perel: […] There’s often a tension — in the good sense of the word — in the relationship between one person more afraid of losing the other and one person more afraid of losing themself. We all feel both. We often outsource one side of the fear to the other person: One person is more afraid of abandonment and one person is more afraid of suffocation.

Miranda July: Right. And I’ve been more afraid of suffocation. But it can flip around, can’t it?

Esther Perel: Yes. I think flexibility in a relationship is when in fact people can go back and forth. What often happens is that people take on one side of the equation and they project onto the other person the part of the equation that is more challenging to them.

Miranda July: Right, kind of outsourcing that.

Esther Perel: You outsource the part that makes you more vulnerable than the one you keep.

Miranda July: Oof. We do that all over the place. Right?

Esther Perel: So once she tells you, “I do this too,” for one, your fear gets diffused. The extent of, “Oh, I can disconnect to such a level” gets a little diluted because you’ve got someone else who said, “I thought I was gonna drop you off and never call you back.” So suddenly, the part of you that doesn’t want to lose her comes out.

Miranda July: Right, I’m gonna be abandoned.

Esther Perel: Yes. Exactly. So now you are in both places. I can be cold, but I also don’t want you to leave me. Now you are experiencing both parts of what I think we all have. We all need security and we all need freedom. But you can experience freedom better when the other person doesn’t threaten you with their freedom.

Miranda July: Wait, break that down for me.

Esther Perel: Okay, I’ll break it down. I love your metaphor, so I’ll try to give you a metaphor. The little kid sits here on your lap. It doesn’t have to be your kid. A kid. And at some point, that child gets up and goes into the world to explore, to play, to discover. And at some point, they turn around.

Miranda July: “Are you still there?”

Esther Perel: Yes. And when they see that you are there, what do they do?

Miranda July: They can go a little farther.

Esther Perel: Exactly. That’s it. Your freedom doesn’t exist on its own. It feels that it can go further into playful, un-self-conscious, carefree risk-taking because there is a solid base here that you can come back to when you’re done. If this base goes and does the same, that is often scary for people.

Never forget we are lucky to age

Another model of aging with grace: One of my favorite musicians, Beverly Glenn-Copeland, along with his wife Elizabeth, shared an Instagram reel to publicly announce his recent dementia diagnosis. The video is the loveliest thing I saw this week, as they acknowledge both the grief that accompanies this diagnosis and also their hope for the future, challenging the conventional presentation of dementia as something that is only sad and sharing their love and care with the public. 

If you’re unfamiliar with his work, I encourage you to spend some time with Keyboard Fantasies. 

In honor of Glenn, I’ll leave you with a live performance of one of his great songs: 

Beverly Glenn Copeland - Let Us Dance (2021)

Thanks for reading! As always, please send ideas, thoughts, and feedback my way. And if you would or someone you know would like to work with someone whose services do not include a wellness consultation or weight loss plan, my books are open. I appreciate you!